So…we’re having a baby
Surprise! The MacBrides are bringing a baby into this world! Because moving half way around the world just wasn’t enough excitement for us… I am currently 15 weeks along and finally starting to feel like myself again. Which is positive considering the last 10 weeks have been the most challenging-physically and emotionally-of my entire life, although I guess that’s to be expected when you’re creating a human being.
So, let’s recap the past few weeks of how we got here, shall we? Welcome to our baby story. Oh, and things are about to get super personal, so if periods gross you out, maybe scroll to the bottom?
Finding out we were pregnant:
Mr. Dave (husband) and I were not trying to get pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fully aware of how baby-making works. When I moved to Hong Kong in October, I only brought a fixed supply of birth control with me. Amid our two apartment moves (and you know, being in a foreign country) I hadn’t yet found a doctor to restock, and just figured we would be careful until I did.
Fast forward to our first trip home in March and some weird stuff started happening to me. The first few nights of our trip I was getting some pretty severe cramping in my lady parts. Part of me thought it was just period-induced cramps. By the end of our 10 days home, my period still hadn’t come, making me a little over a week late. On our second to last day home, we decided to stop at a convenience store on the way back to my parents’ house to pick up a test and a box of tampons. I can only imagine what the store clerk thought of these two purchases together: either your lives are about to change forever, or you’re just going to have a very normal day.
Well, turns out, it was of the life changing variety. Three tests. All positive.
During the longest three-minute wait of my life, I happened to be wearing my Apple Watch, and while I sat on the floor of the bathroom waiting for the results, I noticed my heart rate went from 76 bpm to when I got the verdict: 156 bpm. So basically, fat burning mode. My body thought I was actually exercising…
Funny story: As Mr. Dave and I were sitting in the living room watching an old episode of Dateline (before I took the test), my mom candidly turns to me and says that I should start “popping out” some babies soon. Little did she know, about 30 minutes later, I would be calling her and my dad into the kitchen to tell them the news.
Weeks 6-14
Weight gain: I’m honestly not even sure. Weight in Hong Kong is measured in kilo’s, instead of pounds, so I haven’t even bothered to do the conversion yet. Stay tuned. I’ll stop being lazy!
Cravings: Anything that doesn’t make me throw up. So, not much. Mostly carbs, milk and anything sweet.
Aversions: Coffee! I’ve had maybe three cups in the past few months. But, I’m slowly getting back into it.
Baby: Whenever someone hears I’m pregnant they always ask two questions first:
- Are you delivering in Hong Kong? Yes
- What’s it like going through this process as expats in a foreign country?
Honestly, experiencing healthcare in Hong Kong has been such a joy. This is my first baby, so I’m not totally familiar with how it’s done back in the States to compare, but here’s what our experience has been like overseas.
For starters, we get an ultrasound with each visit, which has been so cool to see our little peanut grow from appointment to appointment. At 12 weeks, the little bean was literally getting air inside my uterus. Flipping over from front to back, arms all over the place. It was really amazing to see it happening live on the monitor.
Additionally, baby genders are determined at the 12-week appointment via blood test.
They separate my DNA from the baby’s DNA to determine sex and see if there are any chromosomal abnormalities or potential risks. We are fortunate to have had all of the tests come back negative. And here’s the fun part: we’re having a baby girl.
Other symptoms:
Hunger: This one has been the biggest pregnancy lesson I’ve learned thus far. Before baby, I was much more of a grazer. I could eat small amounts throughout the day, and (I know this is bad) usually skip breakfast and just have a coffee on the go. Or something small.
Now, I need to eat a meal every two hours or someone is going to die. In the first trimester, I was all over the place because nothing sounded or tasted good. On top of that, I was throwing up, so eating just became a mode of survival, rather than enjoyment. These days, things are a little better since I’m no longer sick – hallelujah! And eating has become a little more pleasant.
Cramps: This is another one no one warned me about, or one that I hadn’t really heard about until experiencing pregnancy for myself. I understand it happens mostly to first-time moms, as things down under have never stretched this much before. But I didn’t think it would happen as often as it did; basically anytime I sneezed, coughed, or breathed air. Like I mentioned above, these cramps feel like period cramps, but instead of the dull ache more commonly associated with my time of the month, it felt more like tearing and ripping. My doctor assured me it was just all of the ligaments stretching around my uterus, and that all is well. Oh, and if you happen to be pregnant and experiencing these kind of sensations, DO NOT Google it. I guess that should go for anything pregnancy related, or so I’m learning.
Sleep: This is the part of pregnancy I feel like I’m missing out on. I thought when you were pregnant you were supposed to get all this sleep? I cannot for the life of me sleep well at night. And I couldn’t in the beginning either. I’m still getting around 8 hours, but it takes me forever to fall and then stay asleep. I have always been this way, but I guess I was hoping pregnancy would make it better. Oh, and the dreams? Very crazy and weird. But that’s for another post.
Mommy thoughts:
I’ve got to say that from a very early stage, I started to feel connected to my daughter on some sort of spiritual level. When I heard her heart beat for the first time at our 7.5 week appointment, something in me changed forever. I feel like I know her already.
Pretty much from the moment we found out we were expecting, I hated the term “it”, so I started using pronouns like she and her. I know this sounds completely nuts, but I knew I was having a girl. I even told my doctor at one of our appointments. He, of course, looked at me blankly because there was absolutely no way I would have known that. Family and friends started asking me how “she” was doing, because I was telling them the same thing. I even had a dream where she told me her name and everything. Am I crazy? Perhaps. But I was also right.
I still have no idea what I’m going to do, as I’m not too experienced in the whole baby department. In fact, I’ve never changed a diaper or even held a newborn before. When cousins or friends of mine have had babies, I’ve always kind of been the watch from afar person. Not because I didn’t love them, but because I was never totally comfortable. I was never the girl that yearned to hold babies. I’m still not. But I like to think my daughter and I will figure it out together. We’re a team, her and me.
I know it’s going to be extremely difficult and tiring and upsetting at times (probably more times than I care to think about), but I also know that every time I touch my belly or find myself swaying from side to side, she’s right there with me; and in those moments, nothing else matters.
Daddy thoughts:
all thoughts below are contributed by my awesome (and painfully calm) husband, Dave.
When you find out something like this, you immediately begin living in a world of unknowns and questions. For someone like Lauren, this means 9 months of Google, research and books, until every answer to every possible question and follow-up question is found. For those married to people like Lauren, it means 9 months of constant “did you know ….?” and “can you believe that!?” (I’ve already been interrupted by four breast feeding, nipple-based, facts during this post alone).
For as type-A as I have become (the “let’s map out all our holidays for the two plus years we’re still in Asia”, type-A), surprisingly, I’m not one to worry about the unknowns. We’ll figure everything out. Everyone else who has come before us has. I know we’re not the first two people who’ve been surprised by a baby, or had one abroad, or did so with very little baby interaction beforehand. Those parents all figured it out, and let’s face it, most of those kids turned out just fine. If I’ve learned anything over the past eight months, since making the decision to move to Hong Kong, it’s that you’ll never be able to plan for everything. Take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves, expected or not, and make the best of the challenges life gives you. You’ll never know all the answers, and if you spend your life worrying about the things you don’t know, you’ll never experience anything worthwhile.
That said, in our current world of unknowns, there are a few things I know for sure.
- I know I’m in deep trouble with a little girl. Karma is a bitch, and I'm more than a little worried that my wife's former life as a mouthy teen has written a check we're not going to be able to karma'cly cash.
- I'm quite sure I'm not hard enough to pull off the Will Smith, Bad Boys 2 "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" monologue the first time she brings a boy home, so we’re going to need a plan B. Also, if you’re my grandparents, don’t click that link.
- I know I’m going to need Lauren to be the tough parent, as I can’t say no or stay mad at Roxy, let alone a little Daddy’s girl.
- I’m aware I will be equally ill-prepared to help her through her first heartbreak as I am to change her first diaper, and that’s okay. Again, we’ll figure it all out.
- I know I’m most afraid of bringing a child in to this crazy world - the world of Trump and ISIS and the Kardashians - and somehow keeping her safe. I also know that I’m unable to properly articulate that fear if you ask me the question at the end of a night of celebrating.
- Most importantly, I know that I will love that little girl with everything I have. And that I will melt with every smile, noise, and eye bat. She’ll always have her dad, no matter what she needs.
Someone told me, “your life never changes as much, for the better, as when you have your first child”. And I know for sure that I can’t wait for our lives to change in five short months.