Practicing gratitude during the COVID-19 lockdown | my top 10 list
Well, it’s been nearly two weeks since my last post, and things have certainly changed around here.
On Monday, 23 of March, Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced that all UK residents must stay at home, and all non-essential services to be closed for three weeks. He stopped short of saying the actual word “lockdown”, but essentially, that’s what it means.
Specifically he said,
Without a huge national effort to halt the growth of this virus, there will come a moment when no health service in the world could possibly cope; because there won’t be enough ventilators, enough intensive care beds, enough doctors and nurses. To put it simply, if too many people become seriously unwell at one time, the NHS will be unable to handle it - meaning more people are likely to die, not just from coronavirus but from other illnesses as well.
Just four days later, Johnson tested positive for COVID-19.
Everyday brings a new update. Increased numbers of those who tested positive; of those who lost the fight. On top of those rising numbers, we’re also facing a floundering economy with thousands of people out of work. I think the hardest part in dealing with this pandemic is grasping that it isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. We’re faced with feelings of defeat and loss. Hopelessness. According to the Harvard Business Review, a lot of what we’re all experiencing right now is actually grief, and the many stages associated with it. In this article, grief expert, David Kessler, describes these stages as:
There’s denial, which we say a lot of early on: This virus won’t affect us. There’s anger: You’re making me stay home and taking away my activities. There’s bargaining: Okay, if I social distance for two weeks everything will be better, right? There’s sadness: I don’t know when this will end. And finally there’s acceptance. This is happening; I have to figure out how to proceed. Acceptance, as you might imagine, is where the power lies. We find control in acceptance. I can wash my hands. I can keep a safe distance. I can learn how to work virtually.
He mentions one of the final stages on grief is meaning. Trying to find the light and understanding during some of these dark days is difficult, but possible.
Even now people are realizing they can connect through technology. They are not as remote as they thought. They are realizing they can use their phones for long conversations. They’re appreciating walks. I believe we will continue to find meaning now and when this is over.
That being said it got me thinking. What are some of the things that I can control right now? What are some of the ways I can focus on the present, and keep my mind from racing too far ahead to the future?
So, here I sat, making a list of things I’ve been grateful for in the last week. Many of these things have been present my entire life, but I took them for granted. Some of them I didn’t even realize were there because I wasn’t paying close enough attention.
And maybe therein lies the lesson with all of this.
Kessler mentions a coping mechanism during times of grief is to come to the present. Focus on the good. Concentrate and be grateful for what you do have, as opposed to what you do not, no matter how big or small.
In this moment, you’re okay. You have food. You are not sick. Use your senses and think about what they feel. The desk is hard. The blanket is soft. I can feel the breath coming into my nose.
With that said. Let’s focus on the here and now. Join me. It’s actually quite therapeutic.
10 things I’m grateful for during the COVID-19 lockdown
Daylight savings
The early morning sun. The sunset that now peeks through our windows when I’m rocking Emmy to sleep every night. Also, for whatever reason, Emmy has let me actually rock her to sleep the last few nights and it melts me. My big girl, but still my baby. I’m grateful for this one, big time.
Beautiful spring weather
It’s like the universe knew we needed a pick-me-up. The weather in London the last week has been full of sunshine and mild temperatures. We’ve been enjoying our outside time.
Toilet paper + hand soap
Naturally. Did you ever think you would get so excited about something like this? A year from now we’ll look back and never take it for granted again, eh?
Roxy
I used to walk Roxy out of necessity, now I do it because it brings me some sort of weird peace I never knew was out there. She is also, of course, happier and healthier because of it.
FaceTime and Virtual Happy Hours
Like Kessler mentions in his article, humans are now using technology more than ever before for human interaction. I had two virtual happy hours this weekend that each brought a lot of joy and comfort.
Our neighbors
Last Thursday at 8 pm, everyone in the UK celebrated and honored the NHS by standing outside our homes clapping and cheering them on. I haven’t met 90% of the people on our street, but in that moment, for just a few minutes, we felt so united. We’re all in this together and we’ll come out of it together.
Our next door neighbors also have two little girls who have spent many afternoons outdoors playing the xylophone. I always crack my window when I see them outside just to hear them play. Their giggly innocence makes me smile.
Cherry blossoms
The cherry blossoms on our street are ending their bloom, but when the wind blows, it looks like a slow motion snow fall. I’ve genuinely loved watching it through the window. It even caught Emmys eye one afternoon and she pointed in awe.
Running
I’ve always been a runner, but now more than ever, I’m grateful for the ability to run.
Routines
I’ve realized during this weird time how much I value a routine. I think it goes hand in hand with focusing on the present. Morning routines, nighttime, routines. Focusing on even the small pieces such as washing my face and doing my hair has helped my mental state immensely. It all goes back to control, and routines are something I can control right now.
Intentional date nights
Mr. Dave and I didn’t go out a lot pre-coronavirus, but of course being stuck inside now makes us feel even more trapped. Especially living in a foreign country where there’s still so much we haven’t done!
We’ve made it a point to pick a movie to watch most nights, one that we’ve both never seen. Then we’ll talk about it. I know that sounds strange, but actually sitting down to discuss the movie with intention brings us back to the present. We light candles and eat dinner on our coffee table in the living room, seiza-style, just to switch things up, and make it feel different.
There you have my 10 quick things that have helped me stay focused on what matters during this crazy and scary world we live in right now. What’s something you’re grateful for? I’d love to hear it. And as always, continue to have compassion for each other as we press on through another week(s) of isolation.